📖 Dogs Can't Read

☀️ Happy Wednesday, March 12 from your Certified Emotional Support Newsletter.

🙏 Daily Mantra: Reminder that the Department of Government Efficiency is neither a Department nor Efficient.

🐾 Now let’s Sic ‘Em!

Cue the maniacal supervillain laugh...

Continuing their excellent reporting, WIRED is reporting that Alpha Co-President Elon Musk is keen for a government shutdown to happen, as it could make it easier to eliminate hundreds of thousands of federal jobs.

If a shutdown occurs, federal employees deemed "nonessential" could be furloughed, with many facing potential long-term layoffs, which would set them up to “get DOGE’d” (which is what more and more people on the Hill are calling it).

As one insider pointed out, this aligns with Musk’s/DOGE’s true goals which are not at all about purported Efficiencies, but are really about destroying what Musk views as the “liberal powerbase.”

Of course, Musk’s shutdown preference is causing waves, just as Beta Co-President Trump went to battle with House Republicans over a resolution to actually keep the government open. Ultimately, the House did manage to pass a funding bill on Tuesday (217-213), so now it’s in the Senate’s court.

Dig Deeper here.

Burying Bones. USAID Employees Told to Destroy Classified Documents.

USAID employees have been ordered to start a large-scale destruction of classified documents, including shredding and using “burn bags.” The email detailing these instructions came from the USAID’s acting secretary, Erica Carr, who gave the staff detailed directions on how to handle the documents.

This destruction comes amid the ongoing chaos caused by DOGE’s dogged attempts to restructure USAID. Obviously, there are concerns that important records might be destroyed before their legally mandated retention period, which could lead to legal and oversight issues down the line.

As one prominent National Security attorney put it: “These are not the actions of someone looking for true waste, fraud and abuse. This is slash and burn mode and not leaving any evidence behind that could disprove their narrative.”

Countdown until classified USAID boxes are discovered in a Mar-a-Lago bathroom. Mmhmm.

Dig Deeper here and here.

Dogs Can’t Read. DOGE Mischaracterizes Study As Transgender, and USDA Cancels It.

Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins announced the cancellation of a $600,000 USDA grant intended for research into safer, sustainable feminine hygiene products. The project was mischaracterized as focusing on "menstrual cycles in transgender men" after a post from Rollins and DOGE shared it online.

The grant's actual goal was to create safer, eco-friendly menstrual products using natural fibers like cotton, wool, and hemp, and support local farmers in Louisiana. Despite a minor reference to transgender men, the focus was entirely on developing better products for women and girls.

The grant was canceled after conservative groups flagged it for conflicting with the Trump administration's policies on biological sex and gender.

This carelessness seems in line with DOGE’s and other Agency’s tactic of “find and replace” cutting and censorship. Like when the Defense Department recently flagged photos and documents related to the Enola Gay for deletion, after some hyperactive DOGE pup searched the entire database for the word “gay” without context.

This failure of basic reading comprehension is sure to add fuel to the growing belief that Trump also cannot read.

Dig Deeper here and here and here.

Taking on the Big Dog. Musk’s Call for Entitlement Cuts Sparks Debate on Social Security’s Future.

After circling them for weeks, Elon Musk recently spotlighted the cost of federal entitlement programs, calling them a "big one to eliminate" as part of his ongoing push to downsize the government.

To be sure, he’s right in one respect, and many of the other low-hanging fruits he’s targeted and publicized thus far are of little consequence in light of the massive size of the overall budget. But entitlements, which account for more than half of federal spending on their own, are a different story.

Still, wanting reform is one thing, but given DOGE’s poor track record so far, many are rightfully worried that similar mistakes made in the area of entitlements could have catastrophic consequences.

So it makes sense that his comments, made during a Fox Business interview on Monday, sparked concerns over potential cuts to Sacred Dog programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.

While Musk tried to narrow his focus and reassure that he would merely be targeting fraud and waste in entitlement systems, he once again cited super bogus Social Security numbers and SBA loan misuses. This begs the question, that if there’s nothing to cut from these overinflated numbers once DOGE digs in, then what other parts will he take a hatchet to save face?

It should also be noted that Speaker Mike Johnson has repeatedly promised that entitlements will not be cut, and his word is gold. Oh, except for those times he flip-flopped on FISA renewals, Ukraine Aid, IVF treatments, the bipartisan border bill, and…. yeah. Sigh.

Dig Deeper here and here.

Heel, DOGE! Judge Orders DOGE to Release Records, Citing ‘Unprecedented’ Power and ‘Unusual Secrecy.’

U.S. District Judge Christopher Cooper has ruled that DOGE must urgently release its operational records due to the department's vast power, "unusual secrecy," and lack of public accountability.

The ruling undermines Musk's claims about DOGE’s transparency and the White House's portrayal of Musk as just a "limited adviser.” The judge also criticized the way the Trump administration litigated the case, offering virtually nothing in the way of evidence about DOGE’s operations or management.

This legal action was brought forward by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW), demanding insight into DOGE's sweeping authority, including its role in massive layoffs and dismantling federal agencies. It’s yet to be determined if Musk & DOGE will actually comply with the court’s order, or any other information requests for that matter.

Dig Deeper here.

"Trump Escalates Trade War, Doubling Tariffs on Metals Imports from Canada" Beta Co-President Trump has increased the tariffs on imported steel and aluminum products from Canada to 50%. This move, which sent the markets into (even more of) a tailspin, comes after Ontario Premier & Reasonable Canadian Doug Ford threatened to add a 25% surcharge on electricity supplied to the U.S., but then later agreed to suspend the surcharge and meet with U.S. officials, hoping for a de-escalation. Trump also threatened to hike tariffs on cars coming into the U.S. if Canada doesn't lift its trade protections on dairy and agricultural products. If you’re wondering if Trump’s “Art of the Deal” was actually a reference to “Dogs Playing Poker,” you aren’t alone.

“US Lifts Military Freeze on Ukraine in Push for 30-Day Ceasefire”
The U.S. has decided to restore military aid and intelligence sharing to Ukraine following talks in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Ukraine has agreed to consider a 30-day ceasefire proposal, provided that Russia reciprocates. Beta Co-President Trump emphasized that Russia's willingness to engage in peace talks will determine the course of action, but warned that if Russia refuses, the fighting will continue. This marks a major shift in U.S. support for Ukraine after Trump had criticized President Zelensky for his past actions. It’s unclear if Zelensky was forced to say “pretty please with sugar on top” in order to win Trump’s favor.

“Trump Buys Himself a Tesla in Support of Musk”
Trump’s puppy love support for Musk and Tesla might help the car company’s stock rise temporarily, but experts warn it could ultimately backfire. While Trump praised Musk and his company — calling Musk a “patriot” after announcing he had bought a Tesla —the car brand is becoming more and more entangled with political controversy, particularly because of Musk’s ties to DOGE. And if you aren’t cringing at what is arguably the most corrupt and pathetic stunt yet, then that means you haven’t seen the photo of Trump’s car salesman-y cheat sheet. View at your own risk.

“Musk Pointed Blame Toward Ukraine for Recent Cyberattack on Twitter”
Twitter (currently called X) experienced significant outages on Monday, which Musk attributed to a “massive cyberattack” and said that the attack originated from Ukrainian IP addresses. However, skeptical experts noted that such attacks are usually harder to pinpoint, as attackers often use proxies and compromised devices. So at best, this is just a clumsy deflection to make people think that Twitter doesn’t suck; at worst, this is only the beginning of a campaign to undermine Ukraine from all directions.

“Trump to Label Attacks Against Tesla Dealerships As Domestic Terrorism”
Beta Co-President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he will label violence against Tesla dealerships as domestic terrorism, in response to the growing protests and boycotts targeting Elon Musk’s company. The anti-Musk backlash has caused a sharp decline in sales and stock value and Tesla has become a focal point for protestors and outraged citizens. We’re not sure if this will apply to the people flinging cheese at Teslas we told you about yesterday.

Well, that was a lot to swallow… Again.

So here are a few treats for you. Some doggy goodness to calm your nerves, lift your spirits & get you through to tomorrow…

Your Daily Dog.  The Best Pups from the Internet.

Pack Pooches. Submitted by Pack Members.

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👍 Thanks for reading. See you on Thursday.  

🐾 And until then, do your best to stay pawsitive!