✂ Shred & Embed

☀️ May 2, 2025 ☀️

🐾 Now Let’s Sic ‘Em! 🐾

Co-President Musk now wants DOGE to sniff around the Federal Reserve, especially regarding a $2.5 billion HQ renovation that he says is yet another example of government waste.

Speaking from the White House, Musk said taxpayers shouldn’t be footing the bill for what he called “an interior designer’s dream.” But here’s the catch: the Fed doesn’t use congressional funding — it funds itself. That didn’t stop Musk from suggesting DOGE could barge in and “audit” the independent central bank anyway.

Of course, this is clearly just another power grab in Trump and Musk’s war on institutions. Musk's team has already wrecked digital systems, triggered data breaches, and faced court orders to stop rooting through sensitive databases — but now they’re circling one of the most guarded economic institutions in the world.

Meanwhile, DOGE continues its “shred & embed” campaign across the government: mass buyouts, secret firings, and a revolving door of Musk loyalists with ties to SpaceX, Morgan Stanley, and his other ventures. Which is why so many are skeptical of Musk’s latest remarks, presuming he just wants to do the same with Fed.

Harnessed. USDA to require DOGE approval for some loans.

Farmers are now being forced to heel before DOGE.

As of this week, USDA loan officers must get DOGE’s approval on any farm loans over $500,000. This means struggling family farms — already battered by trade chaos, rising costs, and climate extremes — will face delays and bureaucratic sniff tests just to keep planting crops or sending cattle to market.

The move is framed as a push for ye olde “efficiency,” but even USDA insiders are howling about it. Critics warn the review process is all about control — full of constraints and harnesses — and only adds red tape to one of the government’s smoothest programs, and could leave rural America hanging.

With thousands of USDA staff already pushed toward resignation — thanks to DOGE — the worry is that loan decisions won’t just be slower, but they’ll also become politically filtered, or used to track farmers and micromanage them.

Sit-Rep. DOGE Delays Spark Market Jitters Over Gas Report.

Elon Musk’s efficiency hounds at DOGE are now chewing on the Energy Department, and the bite is already being felt.

A crucial U.S. natural gas report — one that typically drives trading and prices — was delayed at the last minute Thursday, sparking anxiety among analysts and market watchers. Officially, it was blamed on a “third-party software glitch,” but the stink of DOGE was all over it.

While Musk has taken a step back from daily White House duties, his so-called reforms are still bulldozing through federal agencies. At the Energy Information Administration (EIA), nearly a third of the 350-person staff has left or applied to leave under DOGE’s buyout schemes, including top specialists. Analysts fear the loss of expert staff and hasty reassignment of roles could lead to botched data, late releases, and warped gas price signals — all supposedly in the name of trimming fat.

So now the energy markets just got a taste of what happens when watchdogs are replaced by interns. If you think data delays are just a minor hiccup, ask a gas trader how they feel about “inventory roulette.”

DOGEhouse. DOGE Lets Intern Rewrite Housing Laws With AI.

DOGE is letting the puppies run the pound — literally. Elon Musk’s demolition crew just handed a 21-year-old college student the keys to rewrite federal housing regulations using AI (Or as Linda MacMahon calls it: “A-One”).

That’s right: an undergrad with no government experience is leading DOGE’s AI-powered deregulation effort inside the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), identifying rules to gut and replace, and pressuring career staff to justify why they shouldn’t.

The student, Chris Sweet, is reportedly spearheading this initiative not just for HUD, but for the entire federal government. He’s using a model that auto-scans regulations and flags “overreach,” kicking out a thousand-row spreadsheet of AI-suggested rewrites, complete with word counts and noncompliance scores. HUD staff are asked to review the bot’s output, offer objections, and submit to DOGE for final approval — all while Sweet has read access to sensitive internal data systems.

Sources inside HUD call the effort reckless, redundant, and legally dubious — given that real regulations must go through years of stakeholder review under the Administrative Procedure Act. But DOGE has never let due process get in the way of a good purge.

This experiment is just the start of a broader AI-fueled push to erase environmental, housing, DEI, and other policies viewed as "woke" by Project 2025 playbook authors now staffing Trump's second term.

Meanwhile, Sweet’s résumé includes hedge fund internships, a private equity summer gig in China, and a ghostly online footprint that raises more questions than it answers. Definitely “Employee of the Month” material.

Guard DOGE. NASA Deploys Security Guards at Tense DOGE Staff Event.

Morale at NASA is cratering as DOGE tightens the choke chain on science funding. Budget cuts are already hitting home: NASA has been evicted from its premier climate research lab at Columbia University, GISS, and workers there are now being told to stay home until at least September.

This week’s town hall at Goddard Space Flight Center got so tense that security guards were posted in the overflow room, as staff brace for more forced relocations and layoffs.

Insiders describe the layoffs as "targeted" and "cruel," with the DOGE bros gleefully gutting programs — even when the short-term cost of lease cancellations outweighs any savings.

Meanwhile, NASA awaits the arrival of its next alpha dog — billionaire pilot and SpaceX astronaut Jared Isaacman, who’s all but confirmed to become the next administrator. He’s promised loyalty to Trump’s Moon mission but tiptoed around the looming decimation of the science budget.

Translation: climate research is headed for the wood-chipper, while Mars gets priority. Because in a DOGE World, Elon gets what Elon wants.

"Trump Sidelines Mike Waltz in Strategic Shake-Up"
Trump finally gave the boot to National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, not for breaching security protocol — but for letting a reporter sniff around a private Signal chat. Waltz's real offense? Making Trump look bad. So rather than send him to an El Salvadoran gulag, Trump nominated him to be U.N. ambassador. The slow-walked firing gave Trump cover and conveniently chewed up a news cycle just as his economic numbers started to stink. With tariffs tanking growth and kids being told to settle for two dolls instead of thirty, Trump needed a distraction. Now Marco Rubio will take on the NSA role in addition to the 37 other jobs he holds. How ya feelin today, Elise Stefanik?

“Musk Shrugs Off Chaos, Compares Himself to Buddha in First Press Meeting”
Elon finally broke his silence, meeting reporters in the White House to reflect on his first 100 days — and compared himself to Buddha while doing it. Because: of course he did. He also admitted his promise to cut $1 trillion in federal spending has fallen WAY short, with only $160 billion slashed so far. “It’s really difficult,” he said, blaming a lack of support in Washington and brushing off complaints as part of the job. In a moment of unintentional honesty, Musk also confessed that some essential federal workers were “accidentally let go” during DOGE’s chaotic cuts, fueling backlash even from Republican allies. Despite plans to step back, he’s keeping his West Wing office — whose window view, he joked, “makes it harder to shoot me.” Then, he channeled Buddha and proclaimed: “DOGE is a way of life.” Or death, if you’re a federal worker.

“Judge: DOGE ‘Flouted’ Privacy Protections with SSA Access”
In a 9-6 ruling, the 4th Circuit refused to DOGE dig through Social Security’s sensitive data troves, upholding an injunction that blocks DOGE from ransacking the records of millions of Americans. Judge Robert King minced no words: "This highly sensitive personal information has long been handed over to SSA by the American people with every reason to believe that the information would be fiercely protected... That principle has been flouted by the sudden grant to DOGE of unfettered access to SSA systems of record." The injunction also forces DOGE to delete any personal data it already taken from SSA files. Meanwhile, Musk has been spreading false claims that the system is riddled with fraud and still mailing checks to the dead.

“JD Vance Casts Tie-Breaker to Rescue Trump’s Tariff Agenda”
Vice President & Eyeliner Magnate JD Vance dashed into the Capitol Wednesday night to cast a dramatic tie-breaking vote that saved Trump’s punishing global tariff regime from bipartisan repeal. With two senators out sick and the vote tied 49–49, Vance’s late-night vote locked in Trump's authority to use “emergency” powers to keep jacking up tariffs — including a staggering 145% hit on Chinese goods. Despite fierce opposition from both sides, including Mitch McConnell (who was absent but had planned to vote against Trump’s trade war), the effort fizzled — so Trump’s insanity can continue for now. Isn’t that just tariffic?

“Trump Admin Shuts Down Sewage Fix in Alabama, Citing…umm… “DEI”?”
Trump has flushed a $26 million federal fix meant to stop raw sewage from backing up into homes in Alabama’s Lowndes County — killing a Biden-era environmental justice deal by calling it “illegal DEI.” Huh? Despite decades of documented contamination, illness, and parasite outbreaks due to collapsing septic systems and crude piping, Musk’s DOGE and Trump’s DOJ have now shut the program down. Judge-documented findings confirmed human waste has long flooded yards and bathtubs in this majority-Black rural community. A 2017 study even found 1 in 3 adults had hookworm. Now, over 300 families are left living with disease risk and no clear remedy.

Well, that was a lot to chew on… Again.

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🙌 Thanks for reading. Have a grrreat weekend. See you on Monday!  

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