🌱 The Farmer's DOGE

☀️ March 24, 2025 ☀️

🐾 Now Let’s Sic ‘Em! 🐾

DOGE has pushed to fire scientists and cut funding for the National Plant Germplasm System (N.P.G.S.) — aka our “National Seed Bank” — which safeguards crop genetic diversity vital for food security.

What Musk & the DOGE bros miss is that this vital program isn’t just about meeting the demands of America’s $1.5 trillion food system as it exists today, but also safeguards against any future crisis we can’t predict — climate change, drought, disease, and more.

The program costs a mere fraction of the federal budget, and yet losing whole sections of one or more agricultural sector could be devastating without the Seed Bank… just ask the Irish.

Nepo Puppy. Musk’s SpaceX Eyes Billion-Dollar Deals While Overseeing Mass Layoffs.

In a turn of events that surprised exactly no one… Elon Musk’s SpaceX is poised to secure lucrative U.S. government contracts, clearly benefitting from his bromance with Co-President Trump.

Musk already has made similar moves with the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), and canceled competitors’ contracts that were then replaced with his own StarLink services. More contracts from the Department of Defense and NASA are also potentially on the horizon as well.

The conflicts of interest are obvious, given Musk’s far-reaching role as head of DOGE, his quid-pro-quo financial ties to Trump’s campaigns, and of course making puppy dog eyes at Trump during their candlelit dinners.

All of this fuels concerns that this level of nepotism only gives Musk more power and puts him in a position where his decision-making agendas will be motivated by what’s best for his companies rather than what might be better for the American public.

Not to mention the bigger issue that he seems to be failing at both efforts — or at best getting wildly inconsistent results.

Teacher’s Pets. Musk's Political Donations Stir Controversy Among Lawmakers.

After Rep. Eli Crane of Arizona filed articles of impeachment against U.S. District Judge Paul Engelmayer for daring to rule against Trump, Elon Musk made maximum campaign contributions to him and several other Republican lawmakers who had done the same.

It’s clear Musk is giving treats to pet politicians who are proving well-behaved — especially those who work to protect Trump’s actions, DOGE, DOGE bro staff members, and their financial records.

Besides politicians, Musk is also opening his deep pockets to payoff voters directly. Through his political action committee, America PAC, Musk is offering Wisconsin voters $100 to sign a petition opposing “activist judges” ahead of the state’s crucial Supreme Court election.

While this kind of gray area — just kidding. This is vote buying, make no bones about it. But seemingly it skates through a legal loophole, so it’s yet another sketchy thing that Elon just gets to do.

Musk’s groups have already spent +$20 million to support WI Republican candidate Brad Schimel alone, who is also aligned with Trump. All this because there are lots of hot-button issues and legal battles coming to a head in Wisconsin, including a lawsuit involving Tesla.

Puppy Love. Trump & Musk Went On A Date To Watch Men’s Wrestling.

Co-Presidents Trump & Musk had a very public date night and attended the not-at-all homoerotic NCAA wrestling championship in Philadelphia. The power couple were cheered and also booed as they made their entrance.

In a series of loosely connected sentences, Trump said: "We're going to the big fight. The reason I'm going is in Philadelphia. They have the NCAA, world, wrestling for college. And I've always supported the wrestlers. These are the great college wrestlers from the various schools."

Flashback to a few days earlier, when Trump announced he was cutting millions of dollars in funding for the University of Pennsylvania. So it’s clear that by “support” he just meant “attendance.”

Biting Back. DOGE Protest Roundup.

As the backlash against DOGE, Musk, and Trump grows, we spotlight just a few of the countless protests that happened across the country over the weekend...

Huntsville, Alabama. Even in the deep red Southern State of Alabama, scores of protestors came out to protest DOGE’s cutting of federal jobs. As the protest organizer put it: “These cuts are about Congress and Trump and Musk finding the money for a big tax cuts for people who are already wealthy.”

Kansas City, Missouri. Over a thousand Anti-Musk Protestors gathered at the Tesla dealership where Cybertrucks were recently set on fire. Winner for best signage: a dog wearing a sign that read “Dogs Against Doge.”

Ogden, Utah. Hundreds protested at a local restaurant where Rep. Blake Moore, who also happens to be a co-chair of the DOGE caucus, was holding an event. Fired Federal employees and voters generally upset by DOGE’s activities showed up to vent their anger and tell Moore & Musk where they could stick their DOGE caucus.

West Palm Beach, Florida. Local protestors once again lined up around the Tesla showroom on Trump’s home turf. Things got scary when a black SUV drove into the crowd — thankfully, no one was hit — and then the driver inexplicably parked on the sidewalk, abandoned his SUV, and fled the scene. Pam Bondi could not be reached for comment about whether this counts as domestic terrorism too.

"Barron’s Laptop Trick Leaves Trump Stunned"
In a recent interview with Laura Ingraham, Co-President and proud Dad Trump boasted about his youngest son Barron’s tech skills and his prodigious ability to turn on a computer. "I turn off his laptop, I said, 'Oh good,' and I go back five minutes later, he’s got his laptop on, I say, 'How do you do that?' 'None of your business, Dad.'“ Yes, impressive indeed. And further proving the point that, in fact, Everything is Computer.

“Trump Seeks Corporate Sponsors for Annual White House Easter Event”
The White House is seeking corporate sponsorships for the upcoming Easter Egg Roll, marking a break from tradition by offering significant branding opportunities on White House grounds. The crass move that will feature corporate logos and branding confirms that the nation has officially reached its Idiocracy future as foretold by Mike Judge. And let us guess…Tesla is at the top of the sponsor list? Mmhmm. No word if Trump will be liquidating gold bars at the Federal Reserve to pay for the egg supply this year. What was that about ending eggflation on Day One, Donny?

“Flailing Businessman Musk To Try Opening A <check’s notes> Drive-In Diner”
Umm… okay. Guess Elon is tired of aiming big and conquering electric vehicles, social media, underground drilling, and outer space. Now he’s thinking small and preparing to open a Tesla diner and drive-in theatre combo in West Hollywood, CA… because: Charging Stations? The project has been in the works since 2023, but is still under construction with no opening date set. Tho we can’t be 100% sure, since anyone interested in working there has to sign an NDA — presumably to protect the top secret recipe for their signature Hot DOGEs.

“Trump Revokes Security Clearances for Biden, Harris, Clinton, and More”
After stomping his feet in crossing his arms in a huff, Baby-in-Chief Trump has revoked the security clearances of more prominent political figures, including former President Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. There are already scores of other people on this list, and is similar to the tantrums he’s thrown when revoking security details for former lapdogs like John Bolton, Mike Pompeo, and other people who called him names on the playground.

“IRS to Share Undocumented Workers' Data with ICE, Breaking Privacy Norms”
The IRS is nearing a deal with ICE that would allow the sharing the names and addresses of undocumented individuals. This breaks longstanding privacy norms, raising concerns about the Trump administration's mass deportation efforts. Previous IRS practices kept confidential such sensitive information to protect undocumented workers who contribute significantly to U.S. tax revenue (which they do). It seems the slope is getting slipperier and slipperier, and we’re just a whisker away from Trump & Musk getting full access to everyone’s data.

Well, that was a lot to chew on… Again.

So as your reward, here are a few treats.

Some doggy goodness to calm your nerves… lift your spirits… and get you through to tomorrow…

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🙌 Thanks for reading. See you on Tuesday.  

🐾 And until then, do your best to stay pawsitive!