☠ Euthanized

☀️ May 7, 2025 ☀️

🐾 Now Let’s Sic ‘Em! 🐾

Requiem for another agency… The Trump–Musk axis has gutted the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), once a watchdog that returned $21 billion to Americans wronged by shady lenders. Now it’s barely breathing—offices shuttered, ethics staff fired first, and enforcement cases quietly dropped.

Office of Management and Budget director & The Boys Super Villain Russell Vought told all remaining staff “do not perform any work task” without further instruction. Making it pretty clear the CFPB is done-zo.

All the workers who were still employed were locked out, kicked out mid-day, and told nothing — some haven’t even been allowed to retrieve their belongings.

Even for those still technically on the payroll, their laptops sit inside unreachable buildings. Fired employees got 15-minute pickup windows. Everyone else? Just wait.

This DOGE-era assault has paralyzed the Bureau from the inside out. Lawsuits against lenders, including a case that already won penalties for discriminatory practices, were abruptly dropped. In another, involving shady student loan trusts, the agency backed out of a settlement that had already cleared multiple court hurdles.

DOGE’s first firings? The ethics team of course. Meanwhile DOGE’s layoff czar Gavin Kliger holds Tesla and Apple stock, a clear ethics violation at an agency that regulates financial products. But without an ethics team, who’s gonna complain. Or as union rep Tyler Creighton put it: “Fraud pays, because no one is watching anymore.”

Vet Techs. Internal Emails Show DOGE Choking Off Cancer Care for Vets.

Remember back in February when Trump said: “We love our veterans. We are going to take good care of them?” Yeah, well…

Veterans Affairs staff are now sounding the alarm as Trump and DOGE’s “efficiency” blitz guts VA hospitals nationwide — cutting contracts, freezing hiring, and halting treatment trials.

Internal VA emails obtained by ProPublica reveal details of the chaos: over 1,000 veterans could lose access to critical clinical trials, including therapies for aggressive cancers, opioid addiction, and traumatic brain injuries.

Staff say that DOGE ordered “immediate termination” of cancer registry contracts, while some social workers for homeless veterans were laid off entirely.

Doctors in Pittsburgh warned two advanced cancer trials have still not resumed, while an opioid trial limps forward, short-staffed.

The Trump admin claims the impact is minimal and cites record benefit processing — but VA insiders say the truth is far grimmer. In one researcher’s words: “We’re already losing people… We’re going to be losing things that can’t restart.”

Despite court and public pressure prompting minor reversals, the looming 70,000-person workforce cut remains DOGE’s endgame.

Water DOGE. DOGE Cuts Cripple Great Lakes Protections.

Trump’s second-term cost-slashing spree led by DOGE has decimated the very NOAA lab that once served as the nation’s top watchdog over the Great Lakes.

Internal data, staffing records, and firsthand accounts show catastrophic damage: over a third of the workforce gone, vital algal bloom research disrupted, and scientists warning that the public’s drinking water is now at risk.

The Great Lakes Environmental Research Lab in Ann Arbor, Michigan — a once-celebrated agency hub built to detect water threats — has been decimated. Credit card restrictions mean scientists can’t even buy basic gear. The remaining crew is scrambling to launch their seasonal buoys weeks behind schedule, while federal hiring freezes and DOGE-mandated firings have ejected experts responsible for toxic bloom data, website updates, and emergency forecasting.

Part-time Hillbilly JD Vance, once an advocate for lake protections, is now silent as his new bedfellows pull the plug. Trials, treatment alerts, and field coordination are falling apart, and that even Cleveland and Toledo water officials are begging the administration to reverse course.

Former NOAA staff say critical functions like hypoxia forecasting and toxicity alerts are being “gutted.” Toxic blooms on Lake Erie reached 550 square miles last season — worsened by warming waters — and with fewer humans on the ground, the coast is left unmanned.

After DOGE is done, the Great Lakes will be downgraded to the “Kinda Sorta Great-ish Lakes.”

Boneless. Petition Payback: Musk Faces Lawsuit Over Broken Payout Promises.

Remember that whole shady pay-for-votes election scheme Elon came up with a while back? Well, it looks like it might be coming back to bite him in the class… a class action lawsuit, that is…

A new lawsuit filed in Pennsylvania federal court accuses Elon Musk, America PAC, and Group America LLC of failing to pay registered voters who were promised compensation for signing and referring others to sign a political petition. Musk, supposedly in support of the First and Second Amendments, allegedly offered $47 per signature and later upped that to $100 with referrals.

The lead plaintiff, going by John Doe, says he followed through, racked up enough referrals to earn $20,000, and received nothing. Despite repeated attempts to contact the PAC, he’s still waiting for his promised payment. The suit alleges breach of contract, promissory estoppel, and violations of Pennsylvania’s wage laws.

The case joins a growing pile of legal challenges involving Musk and his political ventures, including another recent suit accusing DOGE of illegally accessing federal data.

With Musk now publicly committed to playing a major role in upcoming elections as a political donor and strategist, let’s hope this lawsuit nips any similar future shenanigans he might be planning in the bud.

Data Hound. Shocking Graph Shows DOGE Vaporized 340,226 Research Days at Once.

Like a Thanos Snap, this disturbing visualization shows the staggering and nearly instantaneous effect of DOGE’s cuts on the world of science.

On 25 April 2025, a total of 651 National Science Foundation grants were terminated under DOGE and the Trump Administration’s reckless cuts.

The result is an abrupt and expected loss of funding for 340,226 days of research — on topics including flood protection, mathematics education, race in the criminal justice system, and mentorship of women in international relations.

Incidentally, of those grants, 154 were included on Ted Cruz’s list of projects which he claimed “promoted Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) or advanced neo-Marxist class warfare propaganda.”

"SCOTUS Lets Trump Reinstate Trans Ban… For Now"
The Supreme Court greenlit Trump’s transgender military ban — again — by lifting a lower court block, allowing the Pentagon to start booting trans troops and denying enlistments. The order is temporary while litigation continues, but for now, the kennel door’s shut. Despite thousands of trans Americans serving with honor, Trump’s DOGE-aligned team insists it’s a “medical” issue — though judges found little evidence to support that. Advocates call it what it is: a blanket ban driven by prejudice, not readiness. Keep in mind this isn’t the final verdict. It’s basically just a directive clarifying the current rules while the full case(s) work their way through the judicial system.

“Ranchers Get Cooked in Trump’s Tariff Turmoil”
Borderland ranchers are barking mad over Trump’s erratic tariff threats on Mexico, which have already stampeded millions in losses and left both cattle and cross-border trade in chaos. In February alone, panic over surprise import taxes caused a $3M loss for Mexican ranchers, with buyers and sellers scrambling over who foots the bill. DOGE didn’t help — USDA mass firings and inspection delays mean cattle crossings are bottlenecked or shut down altogether. Ranchers say the unpredictability is killing their herds, their profits, and their trust in the so-called “America First” plan. Where’s the beef?

“‘Elbows Up’ Diplomacy: Carney Body-Checks Trump’s 51st-State Dream”
At their first Oval Office meeting, Trump kept tariffs on the table and flirted yet again with the idea of annexing Canada, snidely telling new Prime Minister Mark Carney, “Never say never.” Carney shot back with a deadpan: “Some places are never for sale. We’re sitting in one.” Which honestly was a pretty sick & elegant burn. Though Trump held off on pushing the 51st-state fantasy, he insisted Canada’s steel and cars are no longer welcome, boasting, “We want to make our own.” Carney, fresh off a win fueled by standing up to Trump's “elbows-up” antics, said Trump may have accidentally become his best campaign ad. The art of the deal is just Trump finger-painting.

“Tariffs Tank Traffic at Top U.S. Port, 44% Vessel Drop at Long Beach”
Tariffs are already taking a bite out of America’s busiest trade hub: the twin ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach — which together move more containers than any other U.S. port and rank in the top five globally. This week, they're seeing a whopping 44% drop in docked vessels — a staggering slowdown not seen since the COVID era. Port CEOs warned the slump means fewer products on shelves, fewer hours for dockworkers, and a ripple effect all the way to truck stops and seafood joints. “Every four containers means a job,” said LA’s port chief. So much tariffic winning.

“NEWSFLASH: Even Elon’s Neighbors Finding Him Annoying”
Ever since he scooped up a $6 million mansion in the ritzy hills outside Austin, the DOGE overlord has gone full “bad neighbor,” slapping up an unauthorized 16-foot fence, metal gates, and surveillance cams — all without city approval. Local watchdogs (some literal) aren’t amused. One neighbor-turned-HOA alpha, Paul Hemmer, now flies drones over the Musk compound and installed 24/7 surveillance of his own. Musk’s armed guards have reportedly retaliated with petty police reports and camera captures. West Lake Hills has denied Musk’s retroactive building request, and unless the City Council howls otherwise on May 14, the billionaire might be forced to tear it all down. You know what they say: You can take the asshole out of Texas… but Elon Musk will always be an asshole.

Well, that was a lot to chew on… Again.

So as your reward, here are a few treats.

Some doggy goodness to calm your nerves… lift your spirits… and get you through to tomorrow…

Your Daily Dog.  The Best Pups from the Internet.

Submit Your Dog Too!

Want your precious pup featured in the newsletter?

Just email a pic or social link to us at [email protected]. 

Include your pet’s name and/or your name and/or other details like “It’s Bernese Sanders’ 3rd birthday!” etc. (But only if you want that info published. No pressure.)

Howl It From The Rooftops!

🙌 Thanks for reading. See you on Thursday.  

🐾 And until then, do your best to stay pawsitive!